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Dateline: Mordor on the Potomac
A new strain of OMB has been discovered; the CDC announced today. It is centrally located on Mordor on the Potomac.
The “Center for Democratic Control” officially declared the mutation of the OMB virus after a 23 hour incubation period on the floor of the Senate. OMB is the shortened name for “Orange Man Bad”, originally diagnosed as Donald Trump Syndrome. Donald Trump Syndrome was first discovered on an elevator in the Trump Tower on June 16th, 2015.
At first, the Syndrome wasn’t taken seriously because the polls showed that it wouldn’t last past the 2016 Presidential election. Unfortunately for the Left, who were the most affected, it continued to spread when the country didn’t receive the Hillary inoculation the media expected. A similar ailment, but not connected to OMB, is the “Never Trump Disorder”.
NTD is not an illness but an irrational emotional reaction mostly by Neo-cons and RINOs. to a candidate that keeps their campaign promises.
OMB immediately began to engulf the country, infecting journalists, cable news, Hollywood, Colleges, and of course, Twitter. Some speculated that Russia was the source of OMB and there was a Mueller investigation that spent 35 million dollars only to conclude Russia was not the source. OMB continued to spread unabated and it was believed that only the removal of “Orange Man” would heal the country.
OMB gestated and continued despite any evidence. Medically there was no support for the syndrome and despite any facts, it spread quickly through the air via cable personalities like Morning Sloe Joe, Rachel MadCow and Chris “thrill up his leg” Mathews. Despite MSNBC being quarantined by viewers, OMB continued to spread.
OMB has now evolved into the scariest of all infections. It is an STD or “Social media Transmitted Disease” and is found on all platforms. The doctors termed this new breakout, “Schiffilus”, after patient zero Adam Schiff. The CDC warns to be on the lookout for these symptoms:
Winebox Nancy Pelosi, Fat Jerry Nadler, and Alyssa “Baby Killer” Milano have already been diagnosed with Shiffilus and more are likely to be infected. The CDC recommends that you avoid all Cable News. There is no vaccine for Shiffilus, so they recommend that you pray the Rosary and of course sign up for and listen to the Crusade Channel. The only “Safe Place” in the Demonic Times in which we live. And please stay as far away from Mordor as you can!
-Willard Manus Reporting
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Written by: LoneRhody
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